Homecoming

I have to write about homecoming.  This year I took up the responsibility of co-student council advisor, as the previous student council advisor decided to have a baby.  My last experience as a school representative was in middle school when I sang a campaign speech that landed me the secretary position- it was a bold move that paid off.  The point of that story is supposed to be that I have a very minimal knowledge of the position.  This is what I've gathered so far: being the student council advisor is one of the most stressful jobs ever because you're not supposed to do any of the work, but if any of it goes wrong, you are immediately to blame and, damn, there is a boatload of drama involved.
So I was relieved that homecoming went off without too many issues.  Here were some of the highlights, from least fun to most fun:

• One student was nominated to homecoming court as a well-publicized joke. So glad she was a good sport about it.
• Fiasco with shirt ordering, it should never be that hard to give people money.
• I was in charge of getting the floats around the track.  Of course the first tractor stalled right in the middle
• The floats were AWESOME.  The theme was superheroes and my favorite was the sophomore superman float.  I should have taken pictures.  However, the seniors won because they had service men and women, doctors, firemen, policemen, and teachers on their float, and who can not vote for those heroes? 
• I decided to participate in the teacher tug-of-war at the homecoming pep rally.  Let me tell you, middle school teachers are tough.  We got our asses kicked.
• Favorite: One of my klutziest homeroom kids pantomimed my tug-of-war skills, starting off with "Who am I?" And then falling straight on her ass.  It was so perfect. 

I am so glad it's over... until next year!

I'm behind on many of the hilarious things that have happened in this second year of teaching, but I was grading this ridiculous assignment I gave to my freshmen biology students and I love some of their answers so much I want to share them.  If you don't remember Robert Hooke or don't like science, they might not make much sense.  The assignment: pick a scientist whose work contributed to cell theory.  As that scientist, you are to pick an appropriate audience and write a letter describing their work and why it was important.  Here are some of the winners:

"To whom it may concern,

You may or may not be aware, but recently I have been examining cork in my research...I have been using a contraption called the microscope...If any questions or comments please contact me back."

"Dear Bio Class, 

I was looking into a microscope examining cork, in thin slices of course."

"Anyways, I was using my microscope, and I came across something I'd never seen before.  By no doubt it was the smallest thing I'd ever seen.  They looked something like this: (picture of cork) Looks like rooms in a monastery right?"

"I am glad I can help make the Future of Science."

"THIS WILL CHANGE THE WAY YOU SEE THINGS!"

"Until then, I will continue to study cells and keep you posted"

Imma be famous

I had a discussion the other day with one of my students in efforts to convince him that his high school diploma, and therefore at least making an effort to pass my class, was important.
"How many millionaires do you know who don't have their high school diploma?"
"Duh, like every rapper!" Oh...at this point I am irked that I didn't consider that response and wondering if I should remind him that he's white and not Eminem.  I also am asked to name three rappers, which I finally nail with, of course, Eminem ("that's like the most obvious!"), 50-cent (that's like the second most popular!"), and TI but it takes me a few seconds and I make an eye-rolling mistake with Usher in the meantime.  Anyways, the student already replies with the fact that he's in a viral youtube video which I kind of shrug at, and tell him if he really wants to be famous he has to have a record deal and I might have bet him five dollars that he wouldn't.

So a couple of days later I'm in the teacher's lounge and this student comes up in conversation and one teacher says something to the effect of, I just can't take him seriously after seeing him try to stick a remote up his ass.  Huh? Yea, so you might have actually seen this video if you watch Tosh.O, and I had before and just didn't make the connection, but the two brothers from "The greatest freak out ever" are in my B2 block ICP class.  I'm not going to give him five dollars for being famous, but if you go watch the video, you might have a little more compassion for me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YersIyzsOpc

Need a Ride

So my janitor has been sick for the last week, and needles to say my floor was absolutely disgusting.  The ease at which students can trash a classroom does not bode well for the future of our environment, btw.  Yesterday I decided something needed to be done.  I grabbed our pink broom from the stock room and after about, eh, two sweeps, the broom snaps in half.  I took it out in the hallway during passing periods to show off my supreme sweeping strength and one of the other teachers asked me "Did your ride break down?". "Haha yeah, house fell on it." So anyways, I ended up sweeping my room Quasimodo style.  It is kind of unfortunate however that I actually totaled my car on the ride to school this morning. Winner.