I'm behind on many of the hilarious things that have happened in this second year of teaching, but I was grading this ridiculous assignment I gave to my freshmen biology students and I love some of their answers so much I want to share them.  If you don't remember Robert Hooke or don't like science, they might not make much sense.  The assignment: pick a scientist whose work contributed to cell theory.  As that scientist, you are to pick an appropriate audience and write a letter describing their work and why it was important.  Here are some of the winners:

"To whom it may concern,

You may or may not be aware, but recently I have been examining cork in my research...I have been using a contraption called the microscope...If any questions or comments please contact me back."

"Dear Bio Class, 

I was looking into a microscope examining cork, in thin slices of course."

"Anyways, I was using my microscope, and I came across something I'd never seen before.  By no doubt it was the smallest thing I'd ever seen.  They looked something like this: (picture of cork) Looks like rooms in a monastery right?"

"I am glad I can help make the Future of Science."

"THIS WILL CHANGE THE WAY YOU SEE THINGS!"

"Until then, I will continue to study cells and keep you posted"